“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love”
Marcus Aurelius
Dear Reader,
Last Thursday, I was driving home after recording a podcast in my area, I thought I would pop into my friend who lives close by and then reconsidered that she would most likely be still at work. When I got home there was a voice note on my WhatsApp from another good friend asking me if I had heard the very tragic news.
I hadn’t heard…
My friend, (whom I had just thought of dropping in on) had a lovely young student living with her. They lived side-by-side, not in a mother-and-daughter kind of way, but as heartfelt respectful companions. If you can imagine the type of person you may have wanted to live with as a younger person away from home, this would be my friend. She provided a safe space that was welcoming and homely and yet gave the girl all the freedom she needed to live as an independent adult.
Both of them had woken up on Tuesday morning, like any other day…
They got ready, navigating the bathroom, taking turns to have a shower and brush their teeth, they even popped their bread into the toaster at the same time. The young student left before my friend who heard the door click while she was in the shower. Within a few minutes, this lovely girl was knocked off her bicycle in a horrific accident. The emergency staff managed to get her to the hospital but despite their best efforts, she did not survive.
She was twenty-two years of age.
When a young person dies it shakes the entire community and the closer we are to that person through the people we know, the more we feel it - the six degrees of grief. The closer to home the road death, suicide, or early death from cancer is, the more real and raw they become, they are no longer something we simply hear on the news.
I went immediately to my friend’s home where she recounted the tragedy. We baked a cake for the girl’s parents who were coming the next day, and she shared her shock and grief. The house was like a theatre set, everything still in its place before tragedy struck, the young girl’s boots were where she had left them in the hall and her clean laundry sat on her unmade bed. Heartbreaking.
Ever since I was very young I have been aware that we need to live each day as if it were our last. This is probably because as a child I too experienced loss. I share this tragic news with you not to depress you or cause you anxiety but to remind you of what you already know and that is the privilege of being alive. It is possible, that you too will have suffered the loss of someone who died before their time, a friend, a parent or a partner, if so, you have my deepest sympathy.
To die in old age is a privilege, celebrate each year you age.
When a young life is taken away it leaves a hole that can never be filled. It is time to dig deep and honour this beautiful young life that has been lost (and anyone else you may know who went before their time) by vowing to live our one life to its fullest.
How do we do this?
By being awake to the finitude of life. Death is the one certainty we all have and to live in fear of it is to deny ourselves the life we have right here and now.
Appreciate every opportunity and every obstacle that comes your way.
Value your own life so that you can value others.
Do all you can to take care of yourself emotionally, physically and mentally so that you can take care of others.
A mindfulness exercise I practise in the mornings before I open my eyes is to affirm to myself, “What a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” Once you get into the habit of repeating this or something similarly grateful, it can become the first thought that enters your head and will help ground you for the day ahead.
This week’s newsletter is dedicated to the memory of Greta Price-Martin. RIP - 24th April 2024.
One person, who almost didn’t wake up one morning is my next guest on the Building Emotional Resilience webinar series. I am honoured to have Mark Pollock as our guest speaker. Mark knows more than most of us about what a privilege it is to be alive having survived a tragic accident that left him with a broken back and paralyzed from the waist down.
You can register for free here.
‘Sleep Well,’ my new book is topping the charts at #2 in non-fiction for the second week running and I am so grateful for this. It would be lovely if you could join us at our one-day retreat on Sunday, May 19th, where I will be teaching the core principles in the book. Information and booking are here.
And if a one-day retreat is not enough, then please consider joining us and our incredible group in Crete for 7 nights. We still have ONE space left, does it have your name on it? Seize the day if you can and find out more here.
All my love as always,
Fiona. xxx